How often do you hear yourself saying things like “it’s not my fault, I had no control over this.” Can you accept that too often you seem to be blaming people or circumstances for things that happen to you and even for those things that you do.
Maybe when the stress in your life got to great you found yourself reaching for a cigarette having quit for a while, or finding that project you’ve been working on grinding to a halt and you blame others for not supporting you.
A man can fail many times, but he isn’t a failure until he begins to blame somebody else. John Burroughs
Is there really anyone to blame but you? There really is nothing to be gained from blaming people or circumstances.
It’s very easy to point the finger isn’t it? I mean, in this way we can put all the faults and the problems on others. That’s nice and convenient. “When you point one finger, there are three fingers pointing back to you.” More often than not it’s just an attempt to pass the buck refusing to take responsibility for your own faults and mistakes then doing absolutely nothing about it.
People are always blaming their circumstances for what they are. I don’t believe in circumstances. The people who get on in this world are the people who get up and look for the circumstances they want, and if they can’t find them, make them.” George Bernard Shaw
There really is no benefit blaming people or circumstances. By ignoring your own contribution to the situation or insisting that others are to blame you are refusing to take control of your life, instead making yourself a victim to external forces.
In an old article on this blog Don’t Point the Finger I wrote these words:
When you feel that your life is controlled by other factors or people, by your job, your boss, your childhood experiences, your bills, your health, your family or anything else, you feel like a victim. You will feel like a pawn in the hands of fate. You feel helpless and unable to change or improve your situation.
Instead you need to accept your own responsibility take charge of the outcomes and when you’re not happy with them do something to make changes and bring about improvements.
As I wrote in a previous post called Don’t Play the Blame Game:
Why do we waste so much of our time on assigning blame instead of actually focusing on how to fix whatever the problem is we face? It’s essential that although I can’t control everything, I can control how I react to those things that happen. Not wasting my time away blaming others or even circumstances for what has happened.
By controlling our reactions means that we can ensure we respond in the right way and set about making things better. In essence you must stop letting other people’s actions affect you, and think about your response, take charge, be in control. Responding by taking action to address what can be addressed. Once we do this, we never allow ourselves to be victims again and will never waste time blaming people or circumstances.
You will make a huge positive difference in your life by taking responsibility, and responding to your troubles and mishaps by knowing you have the personal power to get them sorted.
Never again allow yourself to say “I can’t help it, it wasn’t my fault.”
Start realising you are 100% responsible and start taking control.
Instead of making excuses start accepting responsibility for everything that happens to you and certainly for everything you do never allow yourself to waste time or effort blaming people or circumstances.