When you take control and responsibility for your own happiness and success you will be astounded how much simpler and gratifying life becomes. You will still face those challenges and frustrations, but you’ll have the strength and confidence to meet them head on, blowing them out of your way while you keep moving forward.
“Everything can be taken from a man but one thing: the last of the human freedoms – to choose one’s attitude in any given set of circumstances, to choose one’s own way.”~ Viktor Frankl
As a coach the one thing I try to instil in to people is the need to develop a positive mindset and inner self-esteem in order to obtain success in life. To realise your success it is essential to have these qualities.
I often hear it said that hard work is the key for success. Of course it does play a major part. Things won’t just fall into your lap, you have to make things happen. But no matter how much work you put in, if you don’t have self-esteem, you will not get the end results you so desire.
Success lies in having self-esteem This enables you to design your ‘life-map’ of how to get where you want to go. Your self-esteem is key to your future and knowing how to boost it could be the difference between failure and the success you know you deserve.
“The way you approach things influences the outcome.” ~ Bruno Bettelheim
We all have our own internal image of who we are, how we look, what we’re good at, and what our weaknesses might be. This develops over time, beginning during our childhood. Our self-image is often based on connections we have with other people and our life experiences. It contributes in a big way to our self-esteem. It is our opinion about ourselves.
Self-esteem is all about how much we feel valued, loved, accepted, and thought well of by others — and how much we value, love, and accept ourselves. When you have a positive self-esteem you feel good about yourself, value your worth, and take pride in your capabilities, talents, and achievements.
When you boost your self-belief, you’ll feel more confident and able to overcome the challenges you face. When you increase your self-esteem, you substitute the voice in your head that causes self-doubt and fear with one that moves you forward by focusing on the good within yourself.
Low self-esteem can negatively affect virtually every facet of your life, including your relationships, your job and your health.
“Your chances of success in any undertaking can always be measured by your belief in yourself” – Robert Collier
You have to start supporting yourself as much as possible. Your mind plays a large part in determining the level of success you experience. Positive self-talk will increase your confidence in your own abilities.
When you boost your self-esteem, you will see a massive rise in your drive and willpower, you will start to believe that you can achieve anything you want in life!
Here are some ways to help you boost your self-esteem
Identify troubling conditions or situations. Before a person can overcome self-esteem problems and build healthy self-esteem, it helps to know what might cause those problems in the first place, the conditions or situations that seem to deflate your self-esteem. What triggers your feelings of self-esteem? In what situations do you feel most vulnerable?
Become aware of thoughts and beliefs. Pay attention to your thoughts about yourself. This includes your self-talk — what you tell yourself — and your interpretation of what the situation means. Your thoughts and beliefs might be positive, negative or neutral. They might be rational, based on reason or facts, or irrational, based on false ideas. Start listening and observing what it is you say to yourself that brings you down, makes you feel vulnerable?
Challenge your negative or inaccurate thinking. Test the validity of your thoughts. Ask yourself whether your view is consistent with facts and logic or whether other explanations for the situation might be plausible. How often do you jump to a negative conclusion? When was the last time you put yourself down or used self-deprecating humour? Once you start looking at this clearly, and you notice what you’re doing, now you can make the changes. You can now replace negative or inaccurate thoughts with accurate, constructive thoughts.
Focus on the positive. Think about the good parts of your life. Remind yourself of things that you have done well. Situations that have gone well for you. Nice things people have said about you.
Recognize what you can change and what you can’t. Once you open your eyes to see that you’re unhappy with something about yourself, at that moment you can make the change.
Make a contribution. Help others out. Feeling like you’re making a difference and that your help is valued can do wonders to improve self-esteem. Nothing makes you feel better about yourself than when you help others for no other reason than you care.
Do what you love. Everyone loves to do something. When you do things that you love, you always feel much happier and feel better within yourself.
Recognise your strengths. We all have our own personal strengths. Everyone is good at something, know what your good at and give yourself praise for it.
Embrace Failure. Learn lessons from your failures. When you fail, figure out why and be determined to learn from it. What can you do to improve your chances of success next time? Just think about how many times you fell before you walked, how many meaningless sounds you made before you talked. If you won’t risk failure, you’ll never grow.
Increase Your Positive Relationships. Rid yourself of those relationships that de-value you. Surround yourself with positive, supportive people and you will see your opinion of yourself will be boosted no end.
As your self-esteem increases, your confidence and sense of well-being will rise massively.
“First we must wish, then we must believe, then it will happen.” ~ Inscription on the Zeppelin obelisk
Success is only possible if you believe it’s possible. Learn to quieten your negative talk in your head by replacing it with positive self-talk: “What if I can’t do this?” becomes, “I can do this.”
“Believe you can and you’re halfway there.” ~ Theodore Roosevelt
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Thanks for sharing this .love this post . Do what your love
“spend your life in own way “
Wintergurl definetely do what you love, follow your passions
I adore Viktor Frankel and have read his book “Man’s Search for Meaning” several times. We are always free to choose our attitude whether, as he was, in a concentration camp or in a mansion. I recall him sharing that those people in the Nazi camps who clung to hope in spite of everything were the ones, barring being gassed, who survived.
Yes, our attitude is everything!
Tremendous post, Larry!
Blessings, my friend!
Martha yes he was an inspiration. I have read everything he wrote. I have had the fortune of knowing a couple of concentration camp survivors personally, and they are amazing people with the most fantastic attitudes. They taught me so much
“Surround yourself with positive, supportive people and you will see your opinion of yourself will be boosted no end.
As your self-esteem increases, your confidence and sense of well-being will rise massively.”
Going to make these lines my mantra for boosting myself up..thank u Larry once again..for this one.
If i can help a special lady like you on your journey Alpana it is my honour
Right now I needed this….embrace what you cannot change. I am disappointed a bit now, but will surely overcome this. Thanks for the positivity.
Janaki i’m sorry to hear your dissappointment but i know that we have it within us to pick ourselves up, dust ourselves down, and move on making the things happen in our lives that we want
Sometimes Larry a woman just gets ‘in the milk’ (down on herself). I think it is embedded in our brains from a very young age. We are expected to be perfect and when we can’t be, then it affects us. This seems to be the biggest gripe from the women I speak with, that they were expected to get something done and didn’t and therefore, the feeling of failure creeps in.
When Michaela was diagnosed, I experienced the very same thing to a great depth. The change in diet was very difficult for me and every time I tried something new and failed, I felt I had let her down. Once I realized that there was no way that I could make foods perfect the first go around and that there would be things that went into the trash, I did much better. I had to teach myself to learn how to laugh at my mistakes and I would try again until I got it right. I’ve recognized my strengths in the kitchen along with what can and cannot be changed. Failure now is a lesson on how ‘not’ to do it LOL.
Mary doing the best we can is all we should ever demand of ourselves. You make a fabulous point that when we strive for perfection we set ourselves up for failure.
Great post Larry! Very inspirational 🙂 I take on each adventure in my life as a learning experience.
What an awesome attitude Anna. If we accept that life is a lesson, and that everything that occurs in our life is just a new lesson, life would come far less complicated, and our progress would be so much easier.
Self-belief is very important and we should take responsibility for our own happiness.A very positive message, thanks for sharing.
Sulekha totally agree, we have to take responsibility for our lives and everything that happens to us. We lose so much power and inner belief when we hold others and circumstances responsible for what actually happens to us.
Larry, as always – a totally amazing full of very good tips! I’ve been recently working with an amazing coach and can only add how important it is to actually have a coach who would help you unravel your great hidden potential and help you develop your self-esteem and rid of negative beliefs!
Katia thank you, maybe i should use you as my new advertising copywriter, to show the world how important coaching could be.
I am making some progress through the steps you listed, but I know it takes a lot of time to move away from what you’re used to thinking about.
It is so eye-opening when you finally realise that you are responsible for your own thoughts and your own happiness. Thoughts make so much difference, and I am glad to say I’m on the way to having more self esteem. I know how to recognise and challenge my thoughts, but it’s the last step of building up this confidence you mention that I really need to work on.
Ruth reading your comment shows me that you really now see your way forward. Of course it takes time, but now you have many of the answers and the road you are travelling will become so much easier
Another good post, I find something I need almost every time I read your posts, learning and growing is what it’s about to make for a better life. My wish is for more and more people to come to healthylifestylesliving.com to get the insight they need to help them in whatever they need to make a better life. Thank You!
I read your article and feel happy to leave a comment because i liked your post and will come again to read more new. Thanks for sharing.