Sometimes we have to be ready to let go of our problems, and instead ask ourselves what dreams am I yet to fulfil. We are made to pursue and fulfil our dreams, to keep moving our life forward. The second we stop dreaming, is the minute we stop living.
I was invited to speak last week to a wonderful group at the Action for Blind People @actionforblind Centre in Wallsend. The topic was personal success through goal setting.
I will write an article around my presentation soon for you to read.
Every person in the room was coming to terms with either being partially blind or caring for someone that was. I really enjoyed listening to the other speakers and seeing the interaction between everyone.
Having delivered my talk I asked if there were any questions, and one gentleman said yes ‘how long will it take for me to get out of the depression stage and move to the acceptance stage.’ He was referring to the grieving process we all go through after personal disaster which will be covered in a later blog.
Let me share his story. I was blessed by being able to speak to him and his wife at the end and what a lovely couple they were.
He had been struck down by a stroke and this had resulted in a severely damaged left eye and restriction of peripheral vision. A consequence of this was losing his driving license.
This was something he was struggling massively to come to terms with. By not being able to drive he felt robbed of his freedom and independence. He would no longer just be able to jump into the car and go off somewhere spontaneously and now he would be reliant on others or public transport to get him to predetermined appointments. Anyone of us who drives know how dependent we are on a car. As I was reminded just today when my car was in the garage for 2 weeks I was totally lost. So to be unable to drive is a frightening prospect. I myself can’t deny holding on to that very fear in my own mind since the complete loss of vision in one eye. To anyone from the DVLA reading this, trust me, I’m absolutely fine.
The ability to drive can be central to a person’s identity and can be an important expression of independence. When you’re unable to drive, due to age or deteriorating health, your emotional well-being can decline immensely because having to stop driving is a major life change
In answer to his question of how long will it take him to move on to the acceptance stage?
The answer is when he is ready.
When it clicks in his head that it’s time to get on with his life, stopping feeling sorry for himself and decide what he truly wants to do with the next phase of his life. When he is prepared to stop thinking of the things he can’t do, and instead focusing on his can do’s. Then he is ready to be asked the question “What Dreams Are You Yet To Fulfil?”
He needs to see it as his second coming.
I know that he is retired and if I recall correctly he was in the police force for 30 years. Recently he has moved to live on the coast. That means he was preparing himself for exciting days ahead. Surely his vision loss and driving license loss aren’t going to scupper everything he had planned.
He has a choice – to keep mourning his loss or find a future to be excited about. I may be crazy here but at 16, I probably had the best 3 months of my life by travelling across America on greyhound buses. Of course this was before I became reliant on cars. Just something for him to consider.
I can’t think of anywhere better for him to be situated than at his new seaside home in order to find space for relaxation, reflection and thought. Walking along the coast line listening to the waves and the seagulls taking in the fresh air and pondering the question: Now What? What do I want to do with my life? What would I love to do? What do I feel strongly about?
I know he enjoys playing a musical instrument. Could he play more, join music clubs maybe even teach kids in his community? I’m not him so I can’t make the decision for him but I can give him this advise.
See your life going forward positively. Yes this is going to include lots of walking and therefore a vast increase in your fitness. I wonder if he was a Bobby on the beat or spent his time in a panda car. You’ve got to be British to understand that.
Life can be awesome if you want it to be. So it’s time to dream once again. Transport yourself forward 5 years into the future and find what I call the vision of your perfect life. See yourself happy with life, contented by everything and excited by what you’re doing. For me that’s easy I see a best selling author delivering his teachings on stage living in the sun drenched island of Lanzarote surrounded by my family and friends. Being at that point I can trace the journey I took to get there and work out the things I want to do. Create your future dream, your big vision!
To me we all have a creative talent. Find what yours is. Then build a life around it. Mine is the ability to convey motivational messages through writing and speaking. Now that has become my passion hobby and work. I believe we were all gifted this creative element. It may be drawing, painting, dancing, singing, writing music, playing a musical instrument. And I can think of no better use of this than to bring happiness through it to others. Putting something back by sharing what we have been gifted. Teach children or entertain older people, seek a community and help them through your passion. We can all bring our creative talent to0 the forefront of our lives – what’s yours? How can you use it?
Whether we are 20 or 70 there is still so much we can do. I’m yet to get to see the 7 wonders of the world, but I will. Travel is on my agenda too. I never stop dreaming, so I will always have dreams to fulfil. Some are the simplest of things like learning something new every day and some considerably more audacious like becoming a best-selling author. I never stop setting goals for myself. To stop dreaming and trying to achieve our dreams, in my opinion, would lead to boredom and frustration. So which would you choose, a life of boredom or excitement? Shall we let our can’t do’s bring us down, or explore and keep finding our can do’s?
What about you. What dreams are you yet to fulfil?