We Spend Way too long Reliving and Regretting the Past

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We Spend Way too long Reliving and Regretting the Past

It’s unbelievable how much time you are spending looking backwards. You are angry with others because of what they did to you or perhaps it’s what they didn’t do for you. There are things you did in the past that you now regret, as well as things you didn’t do, that you now wish you had.

At times it may be helpful for you to momentarily look back at the good times you experienced, but it’s damaging to dwell on those bad memories and situations. As you can’t change what’s gone, what has happened has happened, focusing on the past merely leaves you in a constant state of victimhood and gloom.

To find contentment in your life today, you need to stop living in the past, give up your victimhood, and move on in your life, accepting the past is past, and leaving it where it belongs, behind you.

 “When one door closes another door opens; but we so often look so long and so regretfully upon the closed door, that we do not see the ones which open for us.” Alexander Graham Bell

We don’t have a rewind button for life. There’s no deleting what has happened. But holding on to your anger or regret over your own actions turns into an obstacle to you leading a complete, happy life. This achieves nothing apart from gluing your anger and regret in place, ensuring that the burden will weigh on you forever. You are letting yourself to live and dwell on the past, retaining all the pain. Over and over you relive it all.

The best advice I can give you is to stop living in the past and embrace the image of yourself as an empowered individual. Once you stop trying to change your past and instead allow yourself to let it go, you’ll find the past no longer has control over you.

Let yourself understand that life is full of possibilities and opportunities. Start seeing the positivity in your future. Use the desire to move on from your negative past as the motivation to create a wonderful life for yourself from now on.

You can’t change what has happened, so stop wasting time and energy on it. The future is yet unwritten, and it is within your power to forge a fantastic life for yourself.

Forgiving allows you to put the past behind you. It lets you stop being a victim. Forgiveness is empowering. You just have to let it go, because holding on to the anger brings you absolutely no reward or benefit. It contributes nothing to your life. You have a choice let the past remain inside of you gnawing away at you, or release it and set yourself free. You can hold on to your anger and regret or you can let it go.

 “You build on failure. You use it as a stepping stone. Close the door on the past. You don’t try to forget the mistakes, but you don’t dwell on it. You don’t let it have any of your energy, or any of your time, or any of your space”. Johnny Cash

When you have spent years looking back and holding on to the distress from your past, it just makes sense, surely, to now  let things go. Resolve today to allow yourself to get past your past, and to now set your thoughts constants on today and on your future.

Letting go is one of the most difficult lessons in life, but we have to learn to let go. We have to let go of situations, things, memories, people and our mistakes. Until you do, you simply can’t move forward.

“When I let go of what I am, I become what I might be.”   Lao Tzu

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About the author: Larry Lewis
My name is Larry Lewis, Health & Wellness Life Coach, Founder of Healthy Lifestyles Living, contributor to the Huffington Post, recently featured in the Sunday Mail Newspaper and somebody who went from being an owner of a chain of gyms and fitness fanatic, to a visually impaired overweight and incredibly sick person. Read about my illness to wellness story.
  1. Roy Durham says:

    Good post and darn good advice. When the possibility’s of the past are what we see. The ability to live in the now is in the past and the possibility’s of tomorrow is gone. Thank you for this great post and god bless

  2. Shreya says:

    Yea.. we don’t have reverse option. Life is “one way”, without any U-turn. We should learn from past, live in present & believe in future. Life asks for optimism, its the only ingredient that keeps us alive. Pessimists always have complaints, they don’t choose life; life chooses them. A pessimist is a person who complaints for the noise even when opportunity knocks. Nice post, it inspires the reader. Thanks for sharing. 🙂

    • LarryLewis says:

      Shreya. Thank you for your kindness and support. If i can influence anyone, inspire them, motivate them, to take control of their lives, to live in the moment and feel excitement for the future, then writing this blog does achieve my purpose of making the difference.

  3. Splendidly written, Larry! As you know, I touch on forgiveness quite a bit in my daily devotions. The one slated for Tuesday next is on this same topic of forgiving ourselves and moving forward. All I can say is, great minds think alike! 🙂
    Blessings to you!

    • LarryLewis says:

      Martha as i’ve said on your blog, you inspire me, by challenging my thought process. It is wonderful that we both approach many areas of similarity, and as i’m learning are answers, although coming from totally different places, end up converging at the end.

  4. Savy says:

    Letting go and moving requires work. It seems you have been doing some letting go yourself! Larry this is beautifully said as I i feel the emotions through your words in this post.

    • LarryLewis says:

      Savy, we are all on a journey. At times we ALL have to change course, shift direction, and also carry on with our journey without people that have been with us a long part of the way. If we can channel our emotions, it can make us stronger and better as people.

  5. Debra says:

    …Focusing on the past merely leaves you in a constant state of victimhood and gloom. Well amen to that brother!
    It’s one of my bugaboos, being around people who are in that eternal state of “woe is me.”
    Giving up victimhood is a giant step toward wholeness and healing.
    Here’s a proverb that sums up your message in a nutshell. “As a man thinking in his heart, so is he.”

  6. Ana Peterson says:

    Hi Larry. Another great post! I would like one guest post for from you too:).
    Good luck!

  7. Bongo says:

    This is an awesome post..I just wish it was this easy..but in reality..sometimes it takes more then positive thoughts and changing behaviors….If it was this easy the world would be cured..and what a day that would be…..As always…XOXOXOXO

  8. sulekha says:

    Letting go is one of the most difficult lessons in life, but we have to learn to let go. We have to let go of situations, things, memories, people and our mistakes. Until you do, you simply can’t move forward.
    Your post really makes me think, letting go is tough but we have to be tough to be strong.

    • LarryLewis says:

      Sulekha – yes letting go is one of the hardest challenges we get to deal with. But as we know it is the challenges we face on our journey that teach us how to get the best out of ourselves.

  9. JIm Brandano says:

    Love that final quote really captures the whole idea!! Satchel Page once said ” Don’t look back something might be gaining on you” I always loved that one!!

    Make memories don’t become one!!

    To much stress looking back looking forward it is always sunny skies lol


    • LarryLewis says:

      Jim, the best memories are the ones that skilled photographers like you create. If i ever want to feel warm inside, i just look at the pictures of my 2 girls, and i can never stop myself smiling like a cheshire cat. And i love the memories you make and publish on your blog

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