Stop Being the Victim in Life

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Stop Being the Victim in Life

Each day brings a new challenge and I know a chaotic chain of events can be lying in wait for you right around the corner but that’s what makes life interesting, and I’m always ready for all eventualities, ready for whatever comes my way. Are you? Sometimes we need to stop being the victim in life and start changing the way we approach events that happen to us on a day to day basis.

Too many people seem to be controlled by things that happen to them. They see themselves as victims that have little or no control over their lives. When bad things happen, they get so down, so unhappy, and they’re turned into action less wrecks. They do nothing to respond to the situation they’re in. Well except to feel sorry for themselves, and blaming everything they can for the circumstances they find themselves in.

Sometimes I know I come across as a harsh uncaring person. This couldn’t be further from the truth. I love helping people. If I didn’t care, well I’d just show my sympathy, come out with that normal statement we hear people say such as ‘you poor thing’, and agree that life can be so unfair. When I heard someone tell me they were faced with a situation that had caused them anxiety, turning them into a ‘hopeless wreck,’ was it sympathy they needed, or for someone to tell them, it’s your choice let them steam roller you or fight back. To fight back you have to be strong, focused, determined, with a resolve to stay in control of your emotions and therefore your actions. Do you really think a person with such strong attributes could ever be a victim? I don’t think so. We have a choice. What are we to be a victim or a winner?

Victims feel trapped. They often believe there’s nothing they can do about situations. They are constantly suffering at the hands of others or due to events out of their control. Or that is how they see things to be!

I find it so sad how frequently people spend time finding others to blame for their problems, wasting so much energy finding excuses for not being all that they are capable of being, and holding themselves back from putting themselves on the line going for their dreams. Worse still so many allow themselves to be bogged down by the past, stopping themselves getting on with their lives.

What I want everyone to realise is that no matter what your circumstances, you are responsible for your actions. Where you are now is a result of your previous decisions and actions. Regardless of what has happened in your life, you have the power to take control over everything that happens to you.

You just have to stop being the victim to circumstances. By allowing yourself to be a victim, you are turning off that tremendous power that you have to make a difference. You are creating a self-limiting barrier for yourself.

When you fall into thinking of yourself as a victim you give yourself little or no control over your life. In this mindset you feel sorry for yourself, the world seems to always be against you and you get stuck in this vicious, never ending circle.

Assigning blame and making excuses keeps you victimized and at the mercy of everything that’s out of your control.

It’s time to take charge. Refuse to be a victim to anything or anyone. We are all in the here and now and this is what we can control. I’m not saying bad things didn’t happen; I’m just saying you can decide, right here, right now, to stop being a victim. While you’re at it stop punishing yourself for your mistakes. Face two undeniable facts. You’re going to make cock ups, and shit happens. Simple reality. But no matter what you don’t have any reason to give any one or nothing any power over you.

If it’s never our fault, we can’t take responsibility for it. If we can’t take responsibility for it, we’ll always be its victim. Richard-Bach

So the message for today is really a simple one. Stop being the victim in life, and instead take charge of your life and decide that you are capable of doing, being, and acting exactly in the way you want. Life is in your hands, you’re the one in control, but you’ve got to stop passing the buck by using excuses all the time.

One thing that really speaks to me is this idea of taking 100% responsibility for one’s life. In the long run, we shape our lives, and we shape ourselves. The process never ends until we die. And the choices we make are ultimately our own responsibility.

I’m pained by what I see as the suffering of others. But I will do nothing to encourage a victim attitude,

There is a fine line and a difficult line for you to walk when you are helping others. You can help in a way which encourages them to take responsibility for themselves, or you can help in a way which enables and encourages the problem. When somebody falls down you can pick them up or encourage them to get up themselves. Helping them to see they are in control of their lives, getting them to take 100% responsibility, and to no longer blame anyone or anything for their circumstances is the best thing you can do for them, feeling sorry for them may give temporary relief, but it does them no long term good whatsoever.

So whether you are helping a friend, or helping yourself, no longer play the blame game, instead look for solutions to the problems faced.

When you successfully work through problems without mentally becoming a victim you’ll gain confidence and power to break the cycle. Being a victim is the easy thing to do, but fixing the problem is the right thing.

So no more being a victim, instead try being a winner!

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About the author: Larry Lewis
My name is Larry Lewis, Health & Wellness Life Coach, Founder of Healthy Lifestyles Living, contributor to the Huffington Post, recently featured in the Sunday Mail Newspaper and somebody who went from being an owner of a chain of gyms and fitness fanatic, to a visually impaired overweight and incredibly sick person. Read about my illness to wellness story.

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