I’m one HOT guy!

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I’m one HOT guy!

I’m one HOT guy! What a statement to make. Have I finally lost it? No, not at all, I really am HOT. I believe that it is essential to be Honest, to be Open, and to be Transparent.

You can’t really connect with someone if they aren’t open, honest and transparent about who they are, how they feel and what they want in life. Yet it seems that over the past few years these words don’t mean very much to people.

If you want to build trust, whether in personal relationships or in business, I believe these traits are absolutely essential. I also passionately believe that they provide the true path to human fulfilment. Aristotle defined happiness as “activity of soul in accordance with perfect virtue.”

As a blogger I understand the importance of transparency, and you need to as well. Being transparent on the world wide web is essential for your blog to succeed. When you are open to your readers about yourself and what you think and want, you will gain more trust. It is equally important to be transparent with the people you connect with in real life, and that is what this article is about today.

Trust, honesty, humility, transparency and accountability are the building blocks of a positive reputation. Trust is the foundation of any relationship. ~ Mike Paul

To me these three core values of honesty, openness and transparency reflect what is truly important to me as a person. These are not values that change from time to time, situation to situation or person to person, but rather they are the underpinning of myself. By maintaining these core values throughout everything I do I preserve the identity I wish to demonstrate.

As a personal development blogger and coach, it is important for me to envision my future, passionately believe that I can make a difference, and inspire people to achieve more than they may ever have dreamed possible. To achieve success it is crucial for me to align my vision with a clear set of values and through living those values I will harvest the trust and motivate with energy those I effect, allowing them to see the exciting opportunities and possibilities for their future. Being 100% open, honest and transparent builds trust & protects and nurtures relationships.

The relationship which I have found helpful is characterized by a sort of transparency on my part, in which my real feelings are evident; by an acceptance of this other person as a separate person with value in his own right; and by a deep empathic understanding which enables me to see his private world through his eyes. ~ Carl Rogers

These three core principles are fundamental to the effective development of all relationships – no matter what type. Honesty, Openness and Transparency are pre-conditions of trust and believe me are really important ingredients of successful relationships.

In all relationships we work towards achieving specific benefits for each involved over and above the common benefits to both, and for the continuing commitment of each to the relationship and its sustainability transparency is essential. When we are seen as not being this, others feel unsafe and untrusting around us, we are perceived to be as lacking credibility, reliability, dependability and trustworthiness. On the other hand when you share your thoughts engage in lively, free expression, openly and honestly disclose how you feel it can create wonderful relationships.

I’m sure you have had at least one experience where you have had to deal with some betrayal or dishonesty in a relationship.  It then takes a lot to forgive, to believe in the other again, and to trust their words and actions. To rebuild and preserve a relationship after this,  you need honesty, truth and openness. Transparency is a must. All conscious, healthy relationships thrive on the basis of trust, integrity and transparency.

We can all change. We are all capable of creating fantastic, fulfilling relationships. Be committed to making all your relationship the best they can be, build them with trust and honesty. Even when you mess up, if you both want to really try and rebuild then it is even more important to be completely transparent. You may find that after rebuilding things, having given total openness, honesty and transparency things will be better than they ever were before. Your dreams don’t have to die, just the walls you put up have to be taken down.

Never hide the truth, your thoughts, emotions or feelings. When you do it will always end up with you lying, deceiving, cheating, and then trying to blame others. How much more complicated does life get when you have to keep protecting a lie. You are always walking on egg shells, having to be careful as not to let the façade slip, so the truth seeps out. Never be afraid to be yourself, to be open, honest and transparent. Never be afraid to tell others how and what you really think and feel, and why. We all make mistakes. Mess up. It doesn’t have to always be this way. Life can be wonderful when we learn to develop trust in our relationships. So my advice to you is be a Hot lad or lass.

By showing transparency through our voice, feelings, and emotions, allowing ourselves to be honest and open, we become genuinely alive and secure within ourselves, not afraid to nurture healthy and trusting relationships which result in real true connections. This is the way things should be, we would all be so much happier this way. Surely happiness is all that we all seek.

Life is so much better when your relationships are great, whether it be with your lover or spouse, children, friends, business colleagues, clients, and anyone you come into contact with. Being honest, open and transparent helps you make fantastic relationships of all kinds.

People are unreasonable, illogical, and self-centered. Love them anyway. If you do good, people may accuse you of selfish motives. Do good anyway. If you are successful, you may win false friends and true enemies. Succeed anyway. The good you do today may be forgotten tomorrow. Do good anyway. Honesty and transparency make you vulnerable. Be honest and transparent anyway. What you spend years building may be destroyed overnight. Build anyway. People who really want help may attack you if you help them. Help them anyway. Give the world the best you have and you may get hurt. Give the world your best anyway ~ Mother Teresa

The Merriam-Webster dictionary defines transparent as: free from pretence or deceit; easily seen through; readily understood; characterized by visibility or accessibility of information, especially concerning business practices.

By the Definition given of Transparency, do you feel like you are a pretty “Transparent” person?

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About the author: Larry Lewis
My name is Larry Lewis, Health & Wellness Life Coach, Founder of Healthy Lifestyles Living, contributor to the Huffington Post, recently featured in the Sunday Mail Newspaper and somebody who went from being an owner of a chain of gyms and fitness fanatic, to a visually impaired overweight and incredibly sick person. Read about my illness to wellness story.
20 Comments
  1. Janaki Nagaraj October 21, 2011 at 4:29 pm

    I agree with Savy, we can’t be transparent always. But I like the concept of HOT. Liked this post.

    • LarryLewis October 22, 2011 at 1:23 am

      Thank you Janaki, what i believe Savy is saying , is that at times, in situations, with certain relationships, yes transparency can leave us open and that isn’t i agree always wise. Like everything in life it is a balancing act, and always caution and observation is our necessary protection.

  2. Savy October 21, 2011 at 3:51 pm

    Larry it is true that transparency is important… but I do believe that is a fine line to this. I will share but there are certain things I keep private…However in your field of work I do agree that if you cannot follow what your say then there is something not kosher!…
    You my friend are someone who is slowly blooming into a great Life coach…

    • LarryLewis October 22, 2011 at 1:26 am

      Savy definetely as a coach i feel these are essential traits. I do also try to demonstrate these in all my relationships, but of course some things particularly if shared with another then my responsibility is not to disclose certain things. I think just in general, these characteristics just make life so much easier, less complicated, and keeps everything honest. Thank you so much for your wonderful praise. You know your words always affect me.

  3. Mary Hudak-Colllins October 21, 2011 at 4:40 pm

    I try very hard to be transparent, but with some it is sometimes difficult. For me, once I have been hurt by words or actions, I can forgive it but it is difficult for me to trust again. It takes a long time to build that up again.
    Great post Larry. Always enjoy what you have to say 🙂

    • LarryLewis October 22, 2011 at 1:20 am

      Mary,. i fully appreciate that and in a way i do agree. Alas we are as humans often weakened by some of our tendencies. Often it is difficult to forgive, or forget. But at times, maybe we hold that person in such special favour, we feel it right to give them another opportunity. But we would be right to be cautious, and let them prove that now we can trustr them. But i admit, it can be a risk, but sometimes, depending on circumstances, it may be worth it

  4. Mary Hudak-Colllins October 21, 2011 at 4:41 pm

    hey Larry, I tried to Digg and Stumble and both sites said invalid URL 🙁

    • LarryLewis October 22, 2011 at 1:18 am

      Mary will have to check that out, because i get loads of traffic from mthem both. But thank you so much for pointing this out, and thank you for the thought.

  5. Alpana Jaiswal October 21, 2011 at 5:31 pm

    Transparency is important in everything we do in life,but by doing so I ave realized that people tend to take advantage also.I have faced it sevral times…
    But I love your post Larry…its always good to be here…giving me something positive to think about.

    • LarryLewis October 22, 2011 at 1:17 am

      Alpana some say we show weaakness by being open and transparent. I on the other hand give everyone one chance, but if they take advantage of me, i know that they are not yet ready to live on an equal plane, and i will walk away from them, knowing my values and my dignity our upheld.

  6. Corinne Rodrigues October 21, 2011 at 6:09 pm

    Great acronym, Larry. It’s not always easy to be HOT but I want to get there eventually.

    However, just today I had every reason to be upset with someone who took advantage of me. I could be honest with that person and tell them exactly how I feel. However, I didn’t because I don’t think that relationship is worth investing in…HOT or not, I wonder? What say?

    • LarryLewis October 22, 2011 at 1:14 am

      Corinne although the relationship is not worth investing in, you know that the person involved needs to see what he/she has done, why it was wrong, both for them, but equally important for others where the same thing may happen. I often say my responsibility is to give you people the truth, whether they like it or not. As long as i do right by myself, and by others i am fulfilling my duty. By you holding it in also, be sure it doesn’t nag away at you

  7. jan October 21, 2011 at 9:49 pm

    Being transparent about your values and beliefs is truly the most important thing you can do for yourself. Honesty comes when you are true to yourself. As a for instance, I have never had any qualms about calling the authorities when my son was acting out illegally. Thus his friends knew that I would have no hesitation with them I have rarely had any problems from them. My values and beliefs are transparent. Thank you for this post it rings so very true.

    • LarryLewis October 22, 2011 at 1:11 am

      Jan that was very brave but also the right thing to do, for both him and your family. I was brought up in a family that alas was effected by drug addiction. My mother had very much the same values and beliefs, did the same as you, and i know it ws the right thing to do. I believe that this whole episode in my life created these values within me.

  8. Roy Durham October 21, 2011 at 10:25 pm

    yes! hot, hot , hot, and hotter the better. when we fail to honest, we are not open. only a fool would buy a pig in a poke. being transparent is being true to oneself and the world. when you paint the windows with fear and deceit. “Never hide the truth, your thoughts, emotions or feelings. When you do it will always end up with you lying, deceiving, cheating, and then trying to blame others. How much more complicated does life get when you have to keep protecting a lie.” this says it all. hot, hot, hot. great post and great advice. thank you for this post and god bless

    • LarryLewis October 22, 2011 at 1:08 am

      Roy such a great comment, you have summed it up perfectly. And when you do lie, deceive and cheat it just ends up with pain for everyone. Life can be fantastic as long as we are always honest, open and transparent.

  9. Bongo October 22, 2011 at 1:47 am

    Transparency….sending that over the web? trust…Com on now….LOLOLOL…As always…XOXOXOXOXO

    • LarryLewis November 2, 2011 at 11:12 pm

      Bare all Bongo … by god girl never have i met anyone as transparent and honest and sincere as you on the blogosphere

  10. Dangerous Linda October 22, 2011 at 3:55 pm

    “Men imagine that thought can be kept secret, but it cannot; it rapidly crystallizes into habit, and habit solidifies into circumstance.” ~ James Allen, ‘As A Man Thinketh’

    I believe we are all transparent whether we try to be or not. When we try to hide our thoughts and feelings they come out sideways. Better to adjust what’s going on inside ourselves than try to hide it from the world on the outside.

    • LarryLewis November 2, 2011 at 11:12 pm

      Brilliantly said Linda, thank you so much

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