My life sucks and I’m sick and tired of watching it pass me by. I’ve never been so frustrated with life as I am now and I just want to get out of this rut. I hate, hate, hate my life. I’m just so fed up of being unhappy achieving none of my goals and dreams. Life is passing me by, and I’m amounting to nothing. I’m petrified that I’m just meant to fail at life and that I’m incapable of changing this. It seems that nothing I do to try to change my life ever has any effect at all.
Does this sound like anybody you know? Are you unhappy or frustrated with your life but unsure of what needs to change? Do you feel tormented that you don’t know what you want but only that you don’t want what you have right now? Do you feel unfulfilled?
Frustration is the condition of wanting something and not getting it, or not wanting something and having it forced on you. Frustration can be a result of interactions with people, events or circumstances. Frustration is how you react to these things. It is your emotional response to them.
Frustration, if not dealt with, can destroy our lives! Don’t let your frustrations prevent you from setting goals and living your life to the maximum.
What is not working in your life? Are you frustrated with not making any obvious progress? Would you like to take charge of your life and change it for the better once and for all?
“Are you bored with life? Then throw yourself into some work you believe in with all your heart, live for it, die for it, and you will find happiness that you had thought could never be yours”. Dale Carnegie
Frustrations are part of life and we all face them at one point or the other. Life is full of frustrations. From the minor irritations of losing your car keys to the major disappointment of continued failure towards a goal. Being able to handle frustrations allow us to remain positive even in difficult circumstances, which is important in the fact that most of the things you want to achieve require a great deal of frustration before you get them. So being able to effectively deal with your frustrations can often make the difference between success and failure. It’s key to personal development.
Frustration is caused when the results you are experiencing do not reflect the effort and action you are putting in. Frustration will take place whenever your actions aren’t producing the results that you think they should.
When frustrations strike, you can choose to let them overwhelm you or to transform them into creative opportunities to move your life forward successfully.
To win the fight against frustration, the following simple strategy will assist you in dealing with frustration:
Step 1: Accept the Problem. Your frustrations have shown you that your current course of action is getting you no where, so you have to make changes. You need to accept that its part of life that sometimes things don’t work out the way you want. When the outcome isn’t as you wish, acknowledge this, accept what it shows, and understand that it’s telling you that you need to find another way.
Step 2: Focus On the Goal. Go back to the big picture. What is the desired goal? Sometimes, we get so hung up on our problems and trying to solve them that we put out of our minds what we were originally trying to achieve. Try not to ask yourself, “Why did this happen?” ask instead “What do I need to do in order to get there?”
Step 3: Don’t give up. Be persistent and believe there is a solution. Persistence and determination are two key components in overcoming frustrations. You have to see things through, so don’t give up. As Thomas Edison said “Many of life’s failures are men who did not realize how close they were to success when they gave up”. He also said, “Nearly every man who develops an idea works at it up to the point where it looks impossible, and then gets discouraged. That’s not the place to become discouraged.”
Step 4: Get Perspective. A sense of perspective is vital to keeping sane and avoid letting small problems overwhelm us. If we lose perspective we can end up worrying for hours about things that may never even happen. To keep things in perspective it is particularly important to live in the present moment and avoid being overwhelmed by fears and concerns about the future. You are in control of your life, and have the power to make everything happen the way you want. Just believe it.
Step 5: Brainstorm Solutions. Sometimes we may have to look at a totally different approach to overcome our problems. You need to brainstorm solutions. Come up with 5 solutions for your problem, and these will give you the confidence that there are indeed potential answers to your problem. You just have to figure out the best one to go for.
Step 6: Take different steps. You’re no longer wasting time on the wrong things. Now you have to move forward. Don’t let your frustrations hold you back, use them to get you to take completely different actions. Don’t let yourself be beaten. Keep trying until you get yourself on to the right track. I know for sure that some of my bigger breakthroughs were born out of some of my bigger frustrations. Think of Thomas Edison when he was creating the light bulb, all those failures, how much frustration must he have felt. But he kept going, kept trying new ways, until he succeeded.
Step 7: Visualize a Positive Outcome to the Situation. Too often you can get stuck focusing on what you don’t want to happen or fearing the absolute worst thing that could happen. See yourself achieving your desired outcome. What will it look like? What will it feel like? What will you say? How will you feel? Take the time to visualise it and really feel it. It will inspire you to keep moving forwards.
Step 8: Stay Positive. Things are usually not as bad as they first appear. This time of frustration will pass. A positive mind is far more open to solutions and answers than a negative one that thinks it’s just “hopeless” and thinks “what’s the use?” A closed mind will not be able to see the possible solutions when they do come along. Stay positive.
“It is not the critic who counts; not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles, or where the doer of deeds could have done them better. The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena, whose face is marred by dust and sweat and blood, who strives valiantly; who errs and comes short again and again; because there is not effort without error and shortcomings; but who does actually strive to do the deed; who knows the great enthusiasm, the great devotion, who spends himself in a worthy cause, who at the best knows in the end the triumph of high achievement and who at the worst, if he fails, at least he fails while daring greatly. So that his place shall never be with those cold and timid souls who know neither victory nor defeat.” Theodore Roosevelt
So, my question to you is… What are your biggest frustrations?
Go ahead, post your input as a comment below.
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Great post Larry,yes frustration gets to me at times..and I vent it out in a real bad manner,on my Mom and my daughter..I realize how mean I am,and should not do it… I know life is not easy,everyone tends to get frustrated,but holding on is the only way to get out of it…one step at a time,I am doing it Larry…just be there.
Alpana i’m here always. You are progressing, at a startling pace, just believe in yourself and in your ability to deal with everything.
I will when I find out !
I’m here, so when you find it let me know
Ask me about frustration!And the brunt of it is my son and I feel terrible when I let it out at him.
Rimly, the first step in overcoming frustration and our reaction to it, is noticing when it happens. So now you have to take the next steps to replace that frustration with acceptance of a situation, and resolute determination to overcome it
Great post, Larry! I’ve had times in the past when I felt frustrated, but haven’t for a long while. I’ve got quite a few tools in my toolkit now, which help me maintain my balance as I travel through life.
Thank you for all of the terrific ideas and techniques that you share!
Bec. Lifes journey is made so much easier when we are able to carry the tools and techniques to help us when we face those challenges that come our way.
Positive thinking is a must, i also feel if ya dont mind me saying that people have to have real achievable goals if not frustration beckons 😉
Charles, feel free anytime to say what you wish. You are 100% right firstly positive thinking is a must have attribute for human succcess, and secondly goals must be SMART. Specific, measurable, achievable, realistic, timed, if they are not then you will be wasting so much time, and effort to achieve nothing but frustration,
I’m frustrated with being frustrated and wish it was easy to change…but alas…it is not an easy thing..as a matter of fact..it is frustrating….As always…..XOXOXOXO
Bongo frustration can be one of the worse feelings we can imagine. And many people can’t understand that. But in your situation, you are a fighter, and bit by bit you are reducing the frustrations, clawing your way through that tunnel.
Frustration gets to me at times I vent it out in a Bad manner my man friend of 11_years . I know kefy is not easy but sometimes I hold on to small stuff instead of letting it go he loves me unconditional because of my frustrations I can’t seem to love him anymore like he loves me . we have been through ups and downs hurt and pain but I still sometimes hold on to . please help me Larry let go
My life got sucked!! my girlfriend married some other guy as my father and girl’s father didn’t accept.i failed to convince all of them.now I don’t talk with my father,it has been two years.My girlfriend happily living but her memories are killing me.Once I was lovable son,lovable boyfriend now became worst enemies.This has huge effect on my career which has already downgraded.No concentration in work.instead of saying ‘wont talk to people’ I can say unable to communicate with people and feeling of betrayal is eating me like slow poison.Now I have become odd man out.i prayed a lot and remaining silent all the time but still no hope.what to do ? people say move on but not sure how to,if I try something new then it is hitting me hard negatively and end of the day like loser.Universe isn’t giving any positive hope or signal to move on.Not interested in marrying other girl or earning money or buying house etc.
I am just living becoz of my mom,she wont be able to survive or digest and live that her son died.As in Interstellar movie dialogue -‘Nobody should see their child dying’.
Please suggest me what to do.
Hey Raj, let me tell you a story. My lifed totally sucked before. My wife of 11 years totally blindsided me and I got served divorce papers at work by surprise. My wife was having an affair and wanted to be free of me. I wanted to die. I was too chicken shit to commit suicide. I thought my life was over, or wanted it to be. I definitely had a death wish. I thought that nothing worse could ever happened to me. Twenty two years later, I have been happily married for eighteen years to the love of my life and what I thought was the worst thing that could have ever happened to me is now the best thing that ever happened to me. How time and perspective change things! Hang in there, the final chapter of your life is not written yet. If things don’t work out how we want or planned maybe it’s because there is something better in store for us in the future. Have a little faith and optimism. If your girlfriend was swayed by the opinion her father and your father and decided to live without you, then who wants her anyway! She wasn’t the one you should be with.
Believe that you can do better! Just saying….take care.