Do you ever wonder what’s happening behind those closed curtains in your street?
There was once a little boy, who hoped his life hidden behind the curtains could be seen by nobody else. He felt that nobody would understand the life he lived, and constantly asked himself why me. He was certain that nobody else would be living like this, daily having to worry would there be another fight, police knocking on the door or seeing his sister in the very worst state of drug over use.
He felt isolated, fearful, and alone. He had made this false assumption that he was somehow safer behind these curtains, and that his secret must never be known particularly by his friends at school. His greatest fear was somebody finding out, knowing he didn’t come from a ‘normal’ family. He felt isolated. Sat at home constantly thinking to himself ‘no one can know. No one will understand. They’ll think bad about me.’
When you are suffering, when life is hard, circumstances are unkind you think it’s just you that has to live like you did, everyone is happy enjoying their family lives. He couldn’t wait to escape to school every morning, but by midday was already terrified of what he would find when he got home that afternoon.
Then he grew up and came to understand that we all have skeletons in our closet. That alas in many ways his family was ‘very normal’ and many others have their own personal struggles and nightmares.
For years, he hid his deepest emotions from others, and worse, from himself. Even many years later when he had set out on his own road, no longer having to worry about what was happening, and once it had all stopped itself, he buried the emotions and memories so deep so he didn’t have to deal with them. He lived a life on the outside that was profoundly different from his innermost truth.
He has gone on to learn much. Firstly that there would have been others who would have shown care and been able to help him if he had opened his curtains and allowed others to look in. And then later he felt liberated once he began to share his story, and purely by doing this he felt released.
It enabled him to face his fear and dig down to the deepest, most hidden part of himself, that fearful place where we dread thinking about those things we’ve hidden. But by going through this process, he released the ghosts of his past, faced up to his old nightmares, and instead of finding darkness he saw light. He realised the past could not hurt him and he was free.
He realised we all have the choice, to hold on to our nightmares or release them. He chose eventually to let them go and his life has been so much better for it.
Growing up, he continued to keep everything because he still didn’t want anyone else to know! But the time will always come when you have to let go off your ‘cover up’ normally because you can no longer deal with the internal battle going on within you. You may think you’ve hidden all those memories away in a secret chamber, but be assured they’re still influencing your life and your thoughts. And the simple truth is that by just releasing them you begin a process of healing and change.
To many people spend their entire lives holding onto their nightmare images and hiding behind the curtains, well take it from a Life Coach, and the little boy I was, don’t hold on to it any longer.
“Nothing good comes from hiding in the shadows” David A. Broughton