One thing you need to keep asking as you journey through life is what is missing in your life? One of the most common questions people ask of themselves is “Is this all there is to my life?”
This often is a strong indicator that something is missing in their life at that moment. But maybe the question they should actually be asking themselves is “Is this all there is, it feels like something’s missing?”
Do you ever have that feeling that something is missing in your life, but you don’t know what it is? Maybe you’ve avoided facing up to this by keeping yourself intensely busy with all those things you do that drain you by the end of every evening. You may admit to yourself that life is a little dull and boring
You’ve been afraid to admit it, let alone slow down to allow yourself to deal with it. Well now is the time to find the answers.
So what is missing? What is missing in your life? What would make your life more fulfilling?
These are crucial questions that you must ask yourself if you want to improve your life. They help you to identify the gap between where you are right now and where you want to be.
We all have moments in life when we pause and reflect on ourselves. We may be looking in the mirror, driving down the road or just sitting at our desk as the working day comes to a close.
Whatever it may be, as long as you’re brave and bold enough to take the necessary steps you can make anything happen. Life is about living in the here and now and choosing to make it just the way you want it. Nothing is ever impossible.
So many clients when I first meet them say something is missing from their lives but they don’t know what it is. Yet this is a great start for them because it is opening the door to new possibilities and to finding the answer to the question of what’s missing from their lives.
You see to this point they’ve been programmed to get on with life, do what you have to do to survive, make a living, build a life. For most of their adult life we suppress our feelings and hide our emotions.
The message I want to impart to you is; when you are looking for something, yet are unsure of what it is – perhaps it’s a feeling, an emotion because to this point you’re missing inner joy, happiness and contentment. So what is going to bring these types of feelings into your life?
I strongly suggest that you start getting creative, playful, carefree, spontaneous and passionate. I assure you all of these bring about a great way of living. Reintroduce yourself to that fun you, you can’t be serious all the time. We can make ourselves happy or we can make ourselves unhappy, isn’t it pretty clear which option is best for you?
So let’s try a technique to find what’s missing in your life.
Look at your life through the eyes of a stranger.
Isn’t it amazing how we can quickly spot what is missing in the lives of people around us, far better than we can ourselves? Well it’s because we can observe them from outside. So let us do the same for ourselves.
Here’s the exercise.
- Choose a quiet place where you will have a minimum amount of disturbance.
- Sit in a chair, get comfortable, while keeping your back straight and upright to prevent your mind from becoming lethargic or drowsy.
- Now stay very still and quiet, with no distractions around. Your body should be comfortable and relaxed.
- Turn your entire attention and focus to your breathing. Allow yourself to breathe naturally. Don’t try to adjust your breathing. Don’t consciously try to make any changes. Just let yourself breath. Keep observing your breath.
- Look around the room, and choose an object to focus your attention on. Now focus your eyes onto that object. Stare at it. Look at it clearly, pick up all the details. Colour, texture, shadow, everything about what it looks like.
- At the same time, concentrate your hearing on all the sounds you can pick up. Whether in the distance, such as birds chirping, cars rushing by, distant voices, or closer by, such as the ticking of a clock.
- Now concentrate your entire focus on your breathing, Turn your entire attention and focus to your breathing. Allow yourself to breathe naturally. Don’t try to adjust your breathing. Don’t consciously try to make any changes. Just let yourself breath. Keep observing your breath.
- Begin to take some deep breaths in. Then breathe fully out. Keep this going for a minute or two, deep breaths in, then out. Notice any sensations in your nostrils. Sense the feelings as you breathe in through your nose and then out through your mouth.
- Move your attention to your eyes. Notice every blink of your eyelids. Feel each time your eyes close, then each time they open.
- You are feeling very relaxed, calm and at peace. Close your eyes.
- Imagine yourself standing on a beautiful balcony at the top of a marble staircase. You can see the marble steps in front of you, leading downwards from the balcony, wide strong steps, a banister on each side, totally floodlit. You are now about to count down from ten to one … and with each descending number you will take a single step going down, and with each step you will feel more calm, more relaxed. As you take each step, you will go deeper into a relaxing state. It is a magnificent feeling, a total state of relaxation… and as you little by little go down these stairs… you will feel a sense of complete relaxation… all through your whole body… You can feel the steps beneath your feet and when you reach the bottom, you feel exceptionally tranquil with a sense of excited expectation…
- 10 … relax, 9 … relax, 8 … relax, 7 … relax, 6 … relax, 5 … relax, 4 … relax, 3 … relax, 2 … relax, 1 …now step off the last step. Look around and you find yourself in your very own private cinema.
- Take a seat in front of your large movie screen. This large movie screen is forward of you, in front of your eyes, and raised at an angle of around 20 degrees. The screen is 6 feet in front of you.
- See yourself sitting in the cinema, the lights dim, and then the movie starts. It is a movie starring ‘YOU’. See as much detail as you can create, including your clothing, the expression on your face, small body movements, the environment and any other people that might be around. Add in any sounds you would be hearing — traffic, music, other people talking, cheering. And finally, recreate in your body any feelings you think you would be experiencing as you engage in whatever the activity you are doing. See your life as it is. Watch and observe.
- AS you see things as they are happening, ask yourself what is missing, what would I like to see. You will be sure when you get the answer.
- When you are ready to leave this visualisation exercise start to count slowly from one to ten. 1 … 2 … 3 .. 4 … 5 … 6 … 7 … 8 … now open your eyes, 9 … 10 … You now feel fully awake and totally alert. Stand up, stretch out, and feel great.
No longer only dream of who you could have and should have been. Don’t miss out on your greatness or your happiness. Find what’s missing in your life, concentrate your effort to identify this and work closer to your desired reality.