What a topic for me to choose, the day before Christmas. Perhaps I’ve been watching too much television. Have the Twilight movies, True Blood and The Vampire Diaries finally got to me?
In fact that’s not the reason at all. I have been watching people getting stressed to the limit in the past few days. Why? Well Christmas is just around the corner. What a strange reason, wouldn’t you say? Christmas a time for celebration, family gatherings, the sharing of gifts. This is a time to be jolly, yet it seems to be a time where so many people are pushed to their limits.
As a personal development coach, of course I find this situation ridiculous and feel it necessary to try and offer some guidance.
I know this isn’t something that’s reserved for Christmas either. I work with a number of people who seem to let the merest thing bring them down. The other day I was speaking to a client, his energy was down, he was angry, and literally hated himself, his life and everyone he was connected to.
Many of my Personal Development Coaching clients come to me with a great lack of energy being one of their greatest problems. How do you avoid energy burnout? The first step in re-establishing your vitality is to identify what is draining your energy. Once you have identified these energy deficits you can then start to make changes that enlighten, restore and re-energize you.
So today, my final post for a few days I want to highlight our internal vampires, those things that suck up your energy and drain your vitality. These are your emotional vampires, that you can’t get rid of by driving a stake through the heart of them.
To many of you are letting situations in your life turn into stress.
Let’s take a look at the one’s that seem to come to the forefront at Christmas time.
The effect that certain people have on you. You know the ones, maybe the aunt, or parent in law who can drain your energy and suck you dry. They are the people who make your mood take a nosedive, who you feel sick or tired when you are around them. These are people who bring you down and suck the life from you. They are NEVER satisfied, NEVER positive and NEVER stop complaining. They leave you tired, weary and unhappy.
Things like jealousy, anger, worry, struggle and blame seem to suck the energy right out of you and leave you in a wake of exhaustion. These vampires are good at draining our energy, your very life force. Every time you get upset you lose power and energy, yet you allow everyday situations to steal away so much of your power.
Negative thinking is thinking that brings stress to the mind and body – a definite vitality stealing habit. These thoughts usually focus around judgement of oneself or others, and worrying about events that have either already happened or haven’t happened yet. This is mostly thinking that takes you out of the present moment, into a crazy back and forth barrage of self-perpetuating scenarios and internal dialogues that work to put you into a stressed state.
All these Internal vampires are fear-based focusing on what you do not want, leading you into a disempowered state of mind. These vampires block you from fully-connecting to your magnificence and also cause energy to leave your bodies in unproductive ways.
So to arm you with some silver bullets and cloves of garlic let me provide you with a simple 3 step process to blow away these negative internal vampires.
1. Cleansing Breaths
By consciously directing your breath, you can direct your mind to calm down and release your negative energy stealing thoughts and emotions. As soon as you feel yourself getting upset, angry, or stressed, breathe in deeply through you nose down into the pit of your stomach. As you blow that breath out drop your shoulders and let your arms and hands go limp by your side. Now breathe again, as deeply as you can, and this time try and slow your breath. And release. Continue for three more breaths, keeping them long, slow and deep. Now shake your arms and hands, shrug your shoulders. Start to feel the effect of calmness throughout your body and inside your mind.
2. Pause and Contain
We all get upset, and we all get angry from time to time. It’s OK and it’s normal. What’s important is that we learn to discharge our emotions safely and not send out a burst of toxicity that engulfs us, or harms others. Instead of reacting and giving out to yourself and others try expressing your emotions on paper, using journalism. A daily journal is your special private place to record your thoughts and feelings. Keep it with you at all times and be on the look out for anything that makes you feel irritable, frustrated, or annoyed. As soon as you feel those emotions arising within you note them down. Make a note of where you are, write down how you feel and write about what you think prompted your feelings. In a very short time you will notice that you develop a natural conscious awareness of what irritates you; and that awareness will bring issues to the surface where you can deal with them rather than leave them simmering inside. This helps you see what’s been lurking beneath the surface so that it can be heard and then resolved. Until we know what we feel, we can’t get to the process of dealing with it.
3. Watch Your Language
Words are powerful. The words we say aloud, to ourselves and to others carry our energy and intentions. In times of upset our words can throw our disturbance far and wide or they can help us to maintain balance and connect to our resources and intelligence. So think before you speak. Make sure your words are well chosen and drive you forward in a positive way. This doesn’t mean we ignore or override our feelings, it means we give ourselves the chance to think and take practical action rather than being further tormented by anger driven words. Your words have the power to change your experience. Watching your language is an act of self-respect that gives you room to process things and choose how to respond.
So don’t let your energy vampires suck you dry any longer. Get in control of your breathing, keep a check on your thoughts through your journal, and speak calmly using the right words. You’ll be amazed in the changes in brings about you.
Now enjoy your Christmas, and no arguing with those long fanged family members.