Frustrations Getting The Better Of You

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Frustrations Getting The Better Of You

I couldn’t get to sleep last night. Too much going around in my head. Not a problem, I’ll make the most of it and go downstairs and write a blog. Not only will that be a great use of time but it will also help me to empty my mind and allow me to benefit from a few hours of sleep afterwards. So at about 1.30am I typed in my wp-admin address into the Google Chrome address bar, to then be taken to my… Error message. No matter what I tried I couldn’t get on. Yet again there’s a problem with Go Daddy. That’s why our main blogs, like this one, are now handled on our own server. We were finding gaps, when we’re asleep where traffic was disappearing from our site. But like tonight, we discovered they weren’t getting on because for one reason or another Go Daddy were messing things up.

If you’re a blogger you can imagine the feeling when you’re unable to get into your blog, and when you know nobody else can look at it either. Frustration takes over big time!

What does frustration mean? The definition I found on Wikipedia is pretty comprehensive. In psychology, frustration is a common emotional response to opposition. Related to anger and disappointment, it arises from the perceived resistance to the fulfillment of individual will. The greater the obstruction, and the greater the will, the more the frustration is likely to be. Causes of frustration may be internal or external. In people, internal frustration may arise from challenges in fulfilling personal goals and desires, instinctual drives and needs, or dealing with perceived deficiencies, such as a lack of confidence or fear of social situations. Conflict can also be an internal source of frustration; when one has competing goals that interfere with one another, it can create cognitive dissonance. External causes of frustration involve conditions outside an individual, such as a blocked road or a difficult task. While coping with frustration, some individuals may engage in passive–aggressive behaviour, making it difficult to identify the original cause(s) of their frustration, as the responses are indirect. A more direct, and common response, is a propensity towards aggression.
Well I’m pleased to say I’ve not put my fist through the screen. Neither have I kicked the dog.

Well not one to stay down for long, I thought I’d turn my frustrations to a good use and write on the subject, after of course having a go at Go ‘now and then’ Daddy. Did I say they were the reason for my frustration?

One thing I’ve learnt through my life is that you have to be willing to fail in your attempts at creating a successful life because it is part of the process. In the two years that Neil and I have been building our online business I would have a hard time remembering all the frustrations we have felt on the journey. And I certainly would need more than two hands to count up the number. Maybe what we learnt was its how you deal with the frustrations that come your way that matter. You can feel angry, sorry for yourself, disappointed, and you can stay that way for a long time, or instead you can say, there’s a way around this, or this isn’t going to stop me, and I can get this sorted.

So frustration generally happens when our desired goals and dreams are not met. We may feel frustrated when an outcome of what we wanted to happen simply did not happen, or when we meet challenges. There are so many things that can cause us to be frustrated. More often than not, the cause of our frustrations can be attributed to external forces that we do not have control over. It can be triggered by a situation like something not working (like my blog), or even by another person (whose drunk my orange juice). Frustration can block us from feeling motivated. We can react by trying to solve what is causing the frustration, or we can just simply give up. It’s our personal choice. We really do have control over how we respond.

It is normal for us to be frustrated every now and then. It is the way we react that is important. Will you try to find a solution, or will you just give in?

To many of you let your frustrations get far too much control over you. You know when it’s getting out of hand when seemingly minor irritations start getting you really upset lately. Where you know you are over reacting when waiting in lines, stuck in traffic jams or not getting what you want, when you want it. God forbid you lose your car keys.

The good news is that you can learn how to control frustration, irritation and anger by recognizing the “triggering thoughts” that set off these debilitating emotions. You see, the actual event that one experiences does NOT cause angry and frustrating emotions. It’s the internal thought you think to yourself about that event—the negative or fearful thought—that causes an emotional reaction.

Frustration is part of the human experience. It is part of our growth, and through the frustration, we can learn a lot about ourselves — if we choose to learn from it.

If we let our frustrations stop us from learning something new, working hard today to accomplish our dreams, we will regret it.

But in a few years, when you have accomplished your goal, the frustration will be only a memory to you and evidence that you were (and still are!) capable of more than you ever imagined.

Let your frustrations get the best of you and live to regret it. Or, keep your eyes on the goal, knowing that the pain is only temporary.

Once you understand the self-talk habits you have developed such as, telling yourself that “These people are ——- (fill in the blanks here)”, you can easily learn how to stop, recognize that your thoughts at that moment are not helpful ones and instantly change those thoughts to ones that will not lead to angry, frustrated, and potentially dangerous reactions.

Don’t let frustration get the better of you; make sure you always bounce back in the right way to ensure you get the best from every situation possible. Slow down, stop, take a deep breath and learn to relax. Life is too short. Enjoy the moment. Make use of it. Like me, in the last 40 minutes, I’ve written this post instead of feeling frustrated by the fact I can’t get on my blog. Go Daddy are to blame, have I mentioned that yet?

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About the author: Larry Lewis
My name is Larry Lewis, Health & Wellness Life Coach, Founder of Healthy Lifestyles Living, contributor to the Huffington Post, recently featured in the Sunday Mail Newspaper and somebody who went from being an owner of a chain of gyms and fitness fanatic, to a visually impaired overweight and incredibly sick person. Read about my illness to wellness story.

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