My heart goes out to those who find themselves alone this Christmas. I know how emotionally traumatic this can be, having an incredibly debilitating effect on you. After all Christmas is a special time of the year, a time when we are meant to come together and celebrate with our nearest and dearest, those we love.
Last year was the most difficult Christmas of my life time. It was the first since my Mother had past away and adapting to her absence was hard. Then there was my problems with my eye, recovering from my retinal detachment operation the month before. My children were with their mother, our divorce being finalised also this year. Christmas day fell 30 days since my operation and with total blindness in my right eye and sleeping more than I was awake, I was left with little choice than muddle through on my own. I was fortunate getting a few hours with my family to enjoy.
It was a Christmas devoid of any festive spirit for me. No friends knocking at my door to see how I was or to offer me some cheer. No decorations, and no tree to give my house a feel of the time of year. But spending most my time in bed why would there be. No party invites or offers to pick me up as driving at that time would be incredibly dangerous.
Yet writing about this now doesn’t bring me sadness instead it reminds me how it was this situation that forced me to pick myself up, take control of my life, and refuse to allow my disability to determine my life.
We are all brought up to believe that Christmas is ‘the most wonderful time of the year’. What they don’t tell us is what we’re supposed to do when it isn’t.
I know how hard it is … but more importantly I know you can bring about change and refuse to allow another Christmas to be so bad. You have 365 days to make sure your next Christmas is simply fun.
I’m not a religious person but i do want to share one thought I had last year which has had an enormous bearing on the last 365 days of my life.
Christmas celebrates the birth of a little baby born in a stable. A new life, a magical creation. The reason for this being in a stable was that his parents tired from a long journey found this the only place they could stop and rest. And stop and rest they needed to do.
This thought gave me hope. Why? Because Christmas alone for me came at the end of a hard year. Loss of my mother, divorced after 25 years together and blindness in one eye. Like Joseph and Mary I needed to rest and recharge. Then I would be fresh to reinvent my life and that transformation began from that moment forward like the birth of something new.
No matter how broken hearted you feel right now nor how crushed your spirit, as I found myself last Christmas, you can offer yourself a fresh start and ensure life never again leaves you feeling lonely sad and without promise.
When I woke up on Boxing Day morning I was lying on top of the bed, still dressed in the outfit I’d worn the day before. Everything came flooding back — where I was, what I was doing and that it was Boxing Day and I was alone. I don’t think I’d ever in my life felt so much sadness and I felt my emotions spiralling down. A voice inside me changed everything. It said you’re better than this, you’re approaching a new year, the time to bring about new year resolutions. So waste no time and set in motion your desires for the future by setting your goals.
You have the power to change everything in your life. Remember that happiness comes from within.
If you are alone this Xmas use this time to think about the biggest changes you could make to bring into existence the biggest transformation. Think about your health, relationships, career, personal growth, finances, your purpose, and ask yourself what can I change in each of these areas. What will being about the most improvement on my life. Once you have determined these big changes then set one goal for each, which is stating your intentions for bringing this about in the next 365 days.
This is what I did last year when alone and why a year later I find myself with both daughters and grandchildren today on Boxing Day and why despite my eye sight difficulties and health problems, overall this has been a great year and I know this next year will be sensational.
Enjoy your Boxing Day and set your goals.
This is the time to put all bad memories behind you and look forward into the New Year with nothing but good things to come. Nishan Panwar