Is ego a dirty word ?
Is ego a dirty word? We were brought up to believe it was and we associated ego with loud people who liked to boast.
As I understand more about myself and how ego likes to control us and become ever more powerful I realize that ego can be a dirty word.
No matter what personality type you are or what walk of life you come from ego is a big part of who you are.
Is it really who you are, or your false self who has grown away from the real you?
Looking back on my childhood I distinctly remember being programmed to stay humble and respect others. We were also taught that loud successful people were show offs. We did not want to grow up looking and behaving like them. This teaching or programming really did shape my view towards other people.
It shaped it in such a way that made it very difficult for me to rub shoulders with loud exuberant people. So I spent most of my childhood mixing with shy retiring humble people.
To this day I find it difficult to sell products or myself. Writing has become my avenue or if you like safety for expressing how I feel to the rest of the world.
As I write these words I begin to hear the voices in my head saying ” who wants to read this stuff about what you went through in your life?”
The irony of it is that I secretly longed to be somebody who could stand out if front of a crowd. Luckily for me sport became the avenue for standing out in front of the crowd.
Sport mainly cricket and squash were my platforms for building my ego and to a certain extent my self esteem. It felt good to play well and excel at sport. It felt good to be admired and looked up to. It was something that came naturally to me and I was very passionate about ensuring I continued to be good.
Unfortunately there were of course moments during which I suffered defeat. This made me go on an emotional roller coaster due to the importance we as a society and I placed on winning and losing.
It seems that everything we aspire to do comes with a condition.
You either fail or succeed! One can bring about elation and the other can bring about disappointment.
This winning and losing is ego driven. Your ego wants to win it is scared of failure. It keeps feeding you positive feel good emotions when you win and deflates you when you lose.
We will always have ego in our lives.
Our ego cannot be removed. The trick is to let it know its place in your life. It is important to become aware of the power your ego can command. If you leave your ego unchecked and allow it to take hold of your life there will be no stopping it. It will guide you down paths you don’t necessarily want to go.
How do you begin to quiet your ego?
The starting point is to become aware of it. Once you are aware of it you need to let it know who is the boss. This will only happen if you can remove the chatter from your mind.
Eckhart Tolle explains it best with this quote.
“The ego is not who you really are it is your self image, your social mask. It is the role you are playing. Your social mask thrives on approval. It wants to control. It is sustained by power because it lives in fear”.
Learning to be still and mediate is the starting point for recognizing your thoughts.
Meditating allows you look beyond your thoughts and to become aware of the ones that are coming from your ego.
In my next post we will look on simple meditating techniques that you can incorporate into your busy day.
What is your stance on ego is it a dirty word or do we need it in our lives?