Breaking patterns of destructive behaviour can be achieved by identifying the behaviours and accepting that they make up who you are.
Once you can do this and persevere through to achieving your goals you will heal.
Let me tell you a story about one of my colleagues. As you may know “Healthy Lifestyles Living” is undergoing massive and wonderful changes at the moment. The whole team is working extremely hard to create an online e commerce shop. The shop is being built around a healthy life style . Our shop will cater for the needs of our readers and loyal subscribers. This venture has created many challenges and testing situations.
It seems like divine intervention is working through the whole team because as we encounter stumbling blocks and hurdles a solution or person will appear to fix the problem. This inspires us all to believe that we are building a resource that is needed by the online world. It will become a means for online entrepreneurs to build a successful business around their passion. The implications are immense as we see the end of the venture in our minds. The goosebumps of excitement resonate around the office as we envisage the massive success the whole team will achieve.
Why am I writing about a topic called breaking patterns of destructive behaviour when there is so much to be upbeat about?
Success can be scary for some people. As we are working and making giant strides towards achieving our lofty goals it is evident that one of our team members is taking their eyes off the ball. Suddenly out of the blue the energy of my colleague begins to shift. The once buoyant lively communicative lady begins to shy away from the challenge. She makes herself distant and her work out put begins to suffer.
Of course the whole team suffers because of this situation. The team leader and life coach Larry Lewis identifies that she is relieving some destructive behaviours that have been part of her life up till now. It seems that our colleague has had a life of being so close to achieving major success and then giving up just before she breaks through. It has become a pattern of destructive behaviour as her subconscious mind turns her around in the knowledge that she nearly made this time. Breaking through to that rich vein of gold is scarier for her than turning around and beginning all over again.
The discussions about what she is going through reveal that all her life she has been programmed not to aim too high in her life . If she does she will get disappointed when her goals and aspirations are not met. This has resulted in building up a mental approach of near enough is good enough. In this mode she can feel successful and not get hurt. She has imposed a ceiling on her success.
Is it possible to break this pattern of destructive behaviours?
The biggest part of the solution is identifying that you are in fact living out these destructive behaviours. Knowing the problem goes a long way to dealing with the problem. This is where the expertise and experiencing of a Life Coach , mentor and friend Larry Lewis can play a pivotal role. Knowing about the behaviour helps but sometimes you are powerless to rectify it or the opposite can be true you can expend massive amounts of energy trying to fight it.
You need somebody who can ask the tough questions for you? What are you doing and why? In the end it becomes a situation that hurts the whole team. The vibrational energy of the group shifts. This can create a downward spiral and have drastic implications for the project. If you are feeling stressed and challenged by a pattern of destructive behaviours then this affects your work.
It is time to change your inner speech!
Those behaviours that have been implanted into your subconscious mind by well meaning people can be eradicated. You need to become aware of your thoughts and learn to play less attention to or ignore the ones that don’t serve you. This is not easy to do because your subconscious mind is looking for evidence to validate it’s thinking. So guess what happens as my friend pointed out, you begin to make excuses and procrastinate. This then becomes a self fulfilling prophecy. You begin to sabotage your efforts. You resign yourself to the fact that things were not meant to work out.
The irony of this thinking is that you created the situation for the negative outcome in the first place.
At this point of the story my friend had an epiphany. She realized exactly that very point. She was the one responsible for the way she was feeling not the external indicators she had fabricated in the first place.
Let it go
Don’t dwell on how to fix the problem. Accept the situation and move on. Take action. Don’t freeze up and create a mountain for you to climb over. Letting go is about accepting that you are capable of achieving a great life. You were in fact meant to do so. The negativity planted in your subconscious mind about success is designed by those who have never achieved it. In their wisdom they believe that small successful steps are much better than opening yourself up to failure.
Take stock look around you. How many people in your life are really successful? It is no wonder that my friend has built up this fear of major success. There are no role models for her to emanate in her close circle of friends. The people she is surrounded by a successful in their own way but are not living the life they would choose to live.
What is it that you want for yourself?
Are you prepared to work at eradicating any destructive behaviours preventing from living the life that you want to live?
Share your story with us. Leave a comment and we will respond to you and assist you to identify any destructive patterns of behaviour in your life.